A Tough Week

On reflection its been a tough week. It's not nice when I have a brilliantly busy week like last week and then a very very quiet week afterwards. It's gone so fast and its only today I am happy with in terms of actually applying to jobs and showing my determination. I can't have another lacklustre week like this again. I guess I should look at the big picture and the positives. Things will simply get better and I know that. It's just hard sometimes at the end of the day when you've emailed all the contacts and applied to everything you can apply to. I need more things to do towards it. I know this time last week I was on a massive high about the position I was in and am in now with so many positive things to take from London so far. I beat over 200 people to a role in comedy. Can't have that happen and feel this dejected all in one week. So I will focus on that, only for a moment, and then be my usual self and get my head down under the opinions of positive and negative and focus on the job at hand.

Being lucky enough to get this role for the sketch show made me think about what I'm meant for. I think as far back to Primary School making other kids laugh with lame jokes, entertaining my friends in Secondary School in drama lessons, making up jokes, writing sketches, stand up one liners, sitcom ideas, and writing some proven comedy material throughout Uni and putting it to the test against the audiences and grade and coming out strong. Makes me think about what your born to do if that is a thing and not just a cheesy idea that people say about the greats. This isn't a 'second thoughts about whether I want to do acting' as my heart is in this through and through. It's more of a thought on what potential I have in front of me and how this could be the beginning of something really special and limitlessly enjoyable.

I keep thinking if I could get an agent by the end of the year then it would have been the most successful year of my life so far. But then I think, hang on, I've moved to London this year. I've passed a real life audition. I'm doing comedy which I love with all my heart. No screw that even, I'm doing what I love full stop. This has been such an important year. Already this is a success just moving to London and making that step let alone getting any jobs. The faith is growing as is the determination. I remember before I moved writing down to my future self that its all about tactics and territory. That I should start somewhere and call that my base and just slowly get my name out around that area and take over more and more territory. I have done that but in a different way. The people that I've met carry my name around with them now. I make sure I'm the name that will pop up in the inbox for the third time this week asking for jobs. My territory is already growing fast and I will keep it growing until people know exactly who I am, what I do, and the determination I have in my heart to be first to the role. Yes its been a tough slow week, but next week is a new game and I'm already prepared to make sure its one I can be proud of.