Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Chin Up

Today I found I out some bad news about a job I had been excited about for a month. I was down to the last 2 but wasn't chosen for a job that would have meant 8 days travelling around Norway and a very big salary. It would have been the job of a lifetime and the biggest moment of my acting life. It's been tough to take as this was the first moment I had truly believed I was the only man for the job and my self belief had never been higher. I did all I could and was happy to hear I impressed but still it wasn't enough. I have always wanted to make people proud of me and felt this was my chance to do it. I think that's one of the reasons I've taken it so hard.

I guess I've been wanting to show some recognition for the year I've had. To come home and not stumble over the question 'how's the acting going?' A couple of hours ago it didn't matter that the production team wanted me and the client didn't or that they were really impressed with my work. All these obvious positives were overshadowed by my disappointment. I'm sitting here now thinking how proud and happy I am that everything I did I did my way and was perfectly appreciated. It's a shame it was out of my hands and bad luck I wasn't chosen but I know there are so many things to be happy about. The support and faith around me was enough to know how lucky I was anyway. I will never forget what a blessed life I lead because of the people around me. For that I am so thankful to them and to anyone reading this blog choosing to read about my story. So its been a bad news day, but really what's happened today will echo positivity in the future.

My only thought now is chin up. Get back out there and change the luck yourself.

Wednesday, 3 July 2013


I have just started my 2 weeks of suspense. There is a job that has been offered to me in which I will be auditioning for in about a week and a half's time. It is the biggest opportunity that I've had so far and well paid. It is between myself and 2 other candidates. I feel I have a brilliant chance at this but I must wait and in 2 weeks time, I'd imagine, I will know for sure. It's a hosting job also. I realise it's very easy to argue I would be well out of my comfort zone not having presented before but I honestly believe experience doesn't have a lot to do with it. I am confident with people and comfortable in front of the camera so bring it the hell on. This job will open doors and show Sam South for who he can be and the control he can conduct. This is a deep end I have no problem being thrown into and I can't wait to get started. If I get the role.

There is no way to express how important this job is in the scale of things. I've got so much time to wait to make sure I don't get carried away, or start day dreaming about money troubles being wiped out for the year. I am in a constant state of suspense and at times genuinely paralysed with the thought of what if this happened. Or didn't. I don't like waiting. I am not nervous about the audition but just need it to come round as soon as possible so one way or the other I know. All I can do is look for jobs and plan my life around not getting this job just in case. I wish I knew now so it was over but for now I will have to be patient and quietly wait with suspended hope and holding breath.

My next blog will reveal the answer. I just hope with all my heart its a positive one otherwise people may stop reading my morose dreary writing for good! Fingers crossed.