Monday, 13 August 2012

"This is it. Don't get scared now." Home Alone

I thought about something the other day that I was surprised I haven't been thinking about this whole process of moving to London. My friend told me 'you said 2 years ago if you didn't get into drama school you would move to London and now your doing it.' I guess I never really thought about the plan as things were going along, but London was the inevitable conclusion. I remember how impatient I got. Almost panicking about how little I had achieved with acting when I looked at the big scale of things despite pretty much doing exactly what I wanted to achieve in Bournemouth. Hearing about friends who were extras in well known films and thinking I haven't got anywhere near that kind of success. I would say the impatient panicked feeling was at least 50% of the reasoning behind the decision to move. It would always be the best idea in my head and in reality and I still think I have no idea just how hard it could be to find the bottom of a ladder to begin climbing.

About a month ago when we began looking for a London flat, it became real. I remember how scared I felt about the vulnerability of moving there without any acting work lined up. The phrase 'its about who you know not what you know' would scare me because even if I didn't know anyone of use I don't really know that much in the first place. I never really think about the past productions and plays I've been involved with. The amazing moments, the standing ovations, the laugh lines, I suppose I'm a very in the moment person. I am constantly making lists of things I can do next always thinking about the next thing I can get involved with. It's a good way to be. I find myself making lists most days at the moment. It's such a mad rush to get something going in London before I move. It's like a ring toss and each ring is a contact or path I can go. It could be that all the rings are successful in where I want them to go, or none of them.

I realise luck is the heart of an actor. It's luck that one of my contacts will take me somewhere and its luck that that contact will present me with even more opportunities. It's luck that I've come this far. I think I'm about to learn the more you get out there the more you can take charge of your luck and that's exactly what I intend on doing. I need to be a brand new Sam Stevenson and take the reins on my luck and make sure I'm always in the right place at the right time. You can look at any actor and say they were always going to make it big with their skill but its luck they got their first acting job and second and third and so on. I've got to be a fast learner, adaptable and really if I never give up on it the odds of not making it as an actor would actually look pretty slim...right?

Its inspiring hearing some peoples views on the move. I never really knew what to expect in terms of reaction but how many people have supported it so wholeheartedly is inspiring. Not just that but the faith some people have in me. How can I not be inspired by people who seem to truly believe I will make it as an actor. I have made a vow to myself to never stop being thankful for everything that happens. I used to get speechless when I talked about shows that had big audiences. How could I put into words the appreciation I had and still have for these opportunities given, the cast members I worked with, each audience member that spent money to come see the shows, the people who praised our performances, I wouldn't even know where to begin without falling short of words once more. I could easily argue life has been pretty great to me so far. I've always got the part I've wanted since I started doing local theatre, and the experiences I will keep with me forever. But this is it now. I'm going to London and I've got to look forward. I've got to be someone I've never been before. My main thought on the next year of my life is something I will make sure I remember throughout. Whether I will have a year of failure or a year of success I will have an adventure. And really that's all I can ask for.