Monday, 21 December 2015

My Year

Maybe it's a week too soon for this but I'm reflecting on this year. I'm on a train home from London after doing my last job before Christmas and I'm pleased it's all over for a bit. I think on paper this year looks pretty successful. I wrote and directed 2 films and got a TV advert. It's not been my toughest year but it's been less patient. I've felt more frustrated than usual about not moving forward as fast as I'd like. Acting will always be everything but I have felt the strain, particularly from September to November where nothing seemed to happen and it did get me down. I was probably at my lowest the day before I got pencilled for the TV advert so the timing was perfect. I think a lot about how actors, or at least with me for sure, need a bit of validity every now and then just to know you're doing the right thing and doing it the way people want you too and even just a confirmation that you're a good actor. I definitely feel like that from time to time and I think the quiet autumn confirmed that. I also think it's the science of making other people happy makes you happy and I will always try to do that. It's the best feeling in the world playing a role and taking on direction and doing it the way people want you to do it. I also wanted people to know my belief since I moved to London has never wavered. Even in my quiet autumn there wasn't a single moment I thought I should start to plan for a life without acting.

This year ended up being a rewarding one with maybe some of the lowest days of London so far but definitely the best days of my life too. I remember thinking at one point you change the most between 16 and 20 but I think this time last year I was a different person to who I am let alone since I moved to London. One of the biggest things I've learned since moving has been stamina and the patience I need to do this and this year has definitely been a stamina year. I have no doubt I'll be a completely different person again this time next year. Roll on 2016 and have a bloody brilliant Christmas. X