Last month my agent told me it was natural for it to be quiet over the summer and it would get busier in September and he was right. It's been a really great month for auditions and the odd job. I had a recall for a tv advert and although no big jobs have been gained I feel I've got confidence in the auditions I've got and did my best in them. If I can have more weeks like some I've had in September it would be no time at all before I got another big job. I did feel some frustration at the end of a 2 week busy auditioning period at not getting anything but it's so important to remind myself of how much pot luck is involved in all of it. I was talking about life with one of my best mates on my rooftop overlooking the best sunset of the year so far (no apologies for how that sentence sounds) and I realised that the thing that makes me the happiest is my career. The happiest I've been in the last few years has been when I've had good auditions or got great jobs. A lot of different things drive different people like how important love life is for example which is important to me but I realised I'm more happy over a new job that a girl I'm excited about. It's all to do with where you are in your life and at the moment if my career goes well I feel everything else around it will lift with it.
Now things are calming down slightly I can return my attention towards my lighthouse film. I really want to make it. I feel like I need to make it in January otherwise it may not be made for a long time. Originally I wanted £2000 at least but I think if I stripped it back and raised a grand for it I could make it just as good with a huge amount of favours. I really believe in it. It's the kind of film I've always wanted to make and if it goes well I will have a beautifully shot endearing little comedy love story. I still think about how lucky I am to be able to make films with the friends around me as helpful as they are. I never thought I'd have any interest in making films when I first moved to London and everything's changed. I enjoy it just as much as acting. Also yesterday I ran in the Bournemouth marathon doing a 10k which is another thing I thought I'd never do. I'm really proud of myself. I'm proud of the person I've become and how I go about what I do. The people who I'm closest with know I will be the first to take the mickey out of what I'm doing sometimes but I am really proud of who I am and who I've become in the last 4 years in London. I am a completely different person. I never talk about how hard it is. That's probably why I make jokes to cover over the occasional tough month but there's no point being down about it. It is what it is and I'm thankful for the journey so far. I hope from now to the end of the year there is a surprise for me. Anything can happen.
